1. The Fresher
(AKA: First Years, Awh Bless)
The SU Bar is the natural habitat of the wary, wide-eyed, first year student. Freshers are often found getting to events early, congregating in groups with flatmates, or introducing themselves to acquaintances they may never speak to again. Freshers can also be spotted downing shots to dull their nerves or asking for directions from someone too drunk to give them.
2. The Sharker
(AKA: The player, the creep )
“Yeah, I’m in first year too…”
But the ‘fresher’ you just met may not actually be a new student. Where there are freshers, there will always be sharkers. These older students look to take advantage of more than just the cheap drinks offers and can be found stalking around the bar or dance floor looking to get lucky. Freshers beware!
3. The Sporty Ones
(AKA: Jocks, Serial Circlers)
“We like to drink with Gazza, cause Gazza is our mate. And when we drink with Gazza, he drinks it down in eight-”
One of the most frequent groups to visit the SU is the sports society. Whether they’re dressing up and playing pranks on each other, releasing their pent-up energy on the dance floor or generally undoing the health benefits of exercise, their presence always keeps the bar lively and full of team spirit.
4. The Alternative Ones
(AKA: Hipsters, goths, metal heads)
“It’s just… Not really my scene.”
If you choose a university for its academic bearing rather than its nightlife, you may not have the greatest variety of places to go. Those with a different taste to the cheesy club music played may try the SU out before realizing they must venture further afield for more varied entertainment. Either that or wait until the next Heavy Metal, or Slam Poetry Event is hosted.
5. The Smokers
(AKA: The lost ones)
“I just smoke when I’m drunk, or when I’m stressed, or when I go outside…”
If you decide to hit the bar with a smoker, you may find yourself quite frequently alone or cold as they they have a tenancy to disappear without warning, or drag you out into the cold with them. The smoking area is most often populated with those who like to swap the dance floor for drunken conversations, or social smokers who SWEAR they’re not REALLY smokers.
6. The Party Animals
(AKA: Dancers, Posers)
“Oh em gee! This is SO our song!”
Most frequently spotted running towards the dance floor holding hands, in a dance circle, or hastily retrieving water is the party animal in its natural habitat. Whether they’re dancing with their friends or grinding-up on new ones, watch out for potential drink disasters! The party animal will always be the last to leave the venue.
7. The Exhibitionists
(AKA: The Hungry Ones)
These are the people that just can’t keep their hands off of each other! They invade all areas, marking their territory by making out on the dance floor, making out on the bar, making out up against a wall – and the list continues. Perhaps they should get a room and seal the deal, or perhaps they’re afraid of what the other will look like in a well lit area.
8. The ‘Parents’
(AKA: Mother hen, the sensible one)
“Will you PLEASE drink some water?!”
Generally heavy-weights or those who forsake drinking for one reason or another, these selfless students may be the best friends you’ll meet. Being the most sober means the honorary parents of the group are usually foisted with duties such as organizing transport home, getting water for a wasted friend or apologizing for said friends misdemeanors.
9. The Loner
(AKA: The mystery wrapped in an enigma)
“Me? Yeah, I’m just waiting for someone.”
The loner may be a social recluse out for a drink or a social butterfly flitting from group to group, but sometimes, nobody really knows who they are.
10. The Bartender
(AKA: The Patron Saint of Party)
“Are you sure you’re eighteen?”
Forever patient, tolerant and cheerful bartenders are essential to the atmosphere of a good night out. A good bartender can be spotted serving customers, chatting, chatting, flirting for tips and discarding the phone numbers of a multitude of drunken suitors. Just remember, even if you get impatient to return to the dance floor or smoking area, these are the people who keep the party buzzing. Bar staff always appreciate politeness and may even serve the polite a little more quickly.